Zone Horror Shenanigans

You know Zone Horror?

That channel that shows only 'quality' horror movies?

It's awesome, and only the info bits on sky are better.

Tonight, we have 'Curse of the Komodo', which the synopsis describes as a 'spectacular creature feature'.

On a remote island, genetically engineered Komodo Dragons have grown to huge proportions and are devouring the populace. Can a band of attractive scientists stop them?

Can they ever! These are the most attractive scientists I've ever seen!

You've got to love the guy that writes these up. He doesn't care about making the movie sound good, he's a rebel out to cause a ruckus and stir up trouble for the executives (implying that Zone Horror isn't run by someone, who at the same time, is watching the till in a corner shop).

The movie on the other hand, awful, in a brilliant way. Picture mid-80's 3D special effects, mixed with horrible (yet attractive!) actors and a script that not even Howard Cohen (he's written some horrible movies, most notably this). But it still grabs me and makes me want to say "Wow, I would never get to see a movie like this anywhere else". While not necessarily a bad thing, that, I do get the experience in watching it.

So, our attractive scientists. Who are they? What fields are they experts in? Are they good at using guns? All the answers are here, in this movie!
They are a rag tag group of attractive scientists with your average scientist names.
Drake!
Tiffany!
Foster!
Rebecca!
They're apparently experts in making massive man-eating Komodo Dragons (I believe that's the proper term for thier field of research), and boy, do they know how to fire, clean, disassemble and then reassemble guns (they must have learned in between the bench-pressing, studying and breast inplants).
And then we have our Komodo Dragons. Picture a small toy lizard. Now, in your head, make this toy lizard about 30' long. And now imagine it eating people, but really badly animated (as in a foot glitching out of it's head).
There is our monster! Our terrifying creature that these attractive scientists created in their labs, which, while I'm on the subject, happens to be a single, small hut on a Caribbean island (I'm not sure Komodo Dragons are even indigenous to the Caribbean). And as luck would have it, our lovely monster cannot be harmed by simple firearms, such as assault rifles and semi-automatic rifles, calibres of which could quite easily blow your (yes, your) arms off.
So, if our brave, attractive scientists cannot harm it, what must they do? Call for help?
Well, they done that, but as you could expect, the proper authorities can't do anything for another 8 months at least, so our heroes must trek accross the island, infested with these (identical) Komodo Dragons, to find a proper escape.
And of course, Tiffany, being her usual pissy and annoying self, has to run off and get eaten.
The movie ends with Foster sacrificing himself to get Mr Dragon to swallow some conveniant C4 and the army bombing the island, which, to be perfectly honest, looks more like Jamie Hyneman's idea of deforestation.

So, that's pretty much it. Massive reptile disfunctions (oh, dear) and attractive scientists.

Would not watch again, but I feel wiser now, having watched it.